12 Steps of Lace Knitting

I wrote this for a Yahoo group I'm on (the fabulous MMarioKnits), and I thought I'd share, since the people over there seemed to like it so much. Real knitting content coming, oh, sometime soon. I'm stuck in "finishing a Kinzel shawl" hell, as you can probably tell by some of the below.

1. Find pattern.
2. Sigh over yarn.
3. Pick yarn.
(Note that in steps 1 - 3, yarn and pattern are interchangeable, and that these steps can be performed in any order.)
4. Locate a needle that looks like it might be right.
5. Start project, in a fit of confidence, declaring that the gauge swatch didn't *specify* stockinette, so you might as well just start.
5a. Rip it out and find a different needle. Repeat 5 and 5a as necessary. (Note that step 5a is optional, but if performed, must be followed by another step 5.)
6. Knit like a fiend.
7. Try not to swear too loudly at whatever it is about the pattern that makes you want to -- this tends to distract you from counting and scare the locals.
8. Remember that neither alcohol nor chocolate can save you from the background pattern.
9. Get close enough to the end to start looking at other projects and thinking they'd be more fun, as they don't take hours to finish one row.
10. Add an edging. Alternatively, don't add an edging and bind off.
11. Block like mad.
12. Feel terribly proud of yourself... And then try to figure out what to do with the thing!